the thing is my weight and lack of any tone is REALLY getting to me. like seriously, to the point were I've been purging again which i know is not good especialy with ethe gastritis and stomach lining issues. It's just anytime I feel slightly full nd have the oppurtunity to do it. yesterday was bad, 4 times. I don't want to fall back into this. today i haven"t done it at all, which required more effort than i thought it would. I'm hoping it was just a litle phase and I'm dine with it.
1) keep track of everything I eat on fitday (I customize almost all my foods so I know they're right)
2) drink lots of green tea (supposed to boost your metabolism)
More pains on right side and under ribcage. pain in middle of ribcage. another fucking trip to the ER. "Nothings wrong with you. Take more painkillers". a week later the final trip to the ER.
I get there in pain and kind of out of it. They give me the usual pain meds then freak when they get the results of my electrolytes back and I am admitted beyond fast. My magnesium and sodium have bottom out and I'm a seconds away from a possible seizure. once that's somewhat stabilized (and my bitchiness over no nicotine calms down-the patches don't do shit for me). they take me for an endoscope of my esophagus and stomach and for a gut wrenching coloscopmy (camera up every part of your ass and large intestine. Turns out I have severe gastritis, meaning that my stomach lining is being eroded by acid, but no ulcers. asshole and above appear ot be normal I have have pics of everything.
B: string cheese (80cal)
L: veggie patty (150)
dinner is a mystery b/c i'll be with my bf and who knows what we;ll be having. I'm going to push for fishon the grill. it's healthy and somewhat lo-cal. plus it shouldn't wreck my diet. I'm also going to buy some shrimp to snack on over the weekend and veggies. The hardest part wil be not drinking and getting some exercise in. it's going to take all my willpower. but i am determined. I just need to up my water intake and drink extra tea today to try to flush out some of this bloat. sometimes i really hate beinga woman.
busy busy week nd very busy day. aiming for 30min aerobics and 30min yoga. i'm down 15.5 pounds from when i startedand my clothes are hanging off me so i'm pretty happy about that. still aiming for abut 700 cal a day or so. i just don't feel like any of the communities are "communities" anymore. it's like if you aren't 98 pounds you're ignored. but maybe it's just me.
was absolutely horrible this weekend. gettting real tired of saying that. but tomorrow is a brand new day and im trying very hard not to beat myself up over it but it's really getting to me. i have GOT to go grocery shopping with the bf and buy some fucking healthy food to eat when i'm over there and learnto once and for all say NO to all the crap he buys me without even asking. the only good thing i did do was have tllapia cooked in parchement paper in a foil bag on the grill with very little oil and a ton of no sodium seasoning and some capers, which was healthy and fairly low in calories.. so that my +1 for the weekend of negatives.
going to try to just have a tiny bit of rotissare chicken for dinner (no skin) and tomorrow do some decent dieting (no junk). here;s the eating plan for tomorrow:
B: (b/c of meds i have to eat something somewhat substanial) egg cooked in pam (60cal), 2 slices low-cal bread (70cal), 1 sclice low fat cheese, ~200cal (i don't eat the crust so it's a little lower)
late lunch: veggie patty: 150cal
D: (with bf): not sure no more than 400-500cal if that.
total ~ 950cal
not great but it'll ease me back into dieting. plus i'm exercising 20-30min in the morning and another 20-30min in the afternoon. so that should help things a litle bit. also going to try to exercise at the bf's but not sure if that's going to work. so we'll see. my goal is to exercise in the morning and afternoon everyday this week. we;ll see how it goes. tuesday is out b/c i have to go see my shrink which is basically an all day event. but i should be able to do it the rest of the week. still going to try to exercise once on tuesday though.
feeling down about my stagnent weight loss but trying not to let it get to me or make me give up.
too much to do never enough time. but i'm in a very good mood today despite the lack of scale movement. which is rather suprising!
scheduled my classes for next semester so at least that's done and over with. next week is a brand new (and a bit less busy) week and a time for me to really concentrate on getting my shit together weight-wise and life-wise and school-wise.
Anyway's here's the plan:
1) exercise 30min every morning before classes
2) exercise for a minimum of 1 hour on days i don't have classes
3) schedule 30mi-1 hour of cleaning everyday to everyother day (more if time allows)
4) eat a little less each day
5) drink a LOT more water
6) take meds EXACTLY as prescribed
7) Study for tests and quizzes in advance (less cramming the night and morning before)
8) take less naps if posssible
9) take fish oil and calcium supplements everyday (recently read where both are likely to help in losing weight)
10) cut down on smoking (1 cig at a time)
11) add in yoga and weight training to workouts
12) watch less tv
13) get organized
14) STAY FOCUSED
15) STAY POSITIVE!!!!
16) weigh self everyday to everyother day (instead of every 5 minutes lol)
17) try to stress out less (this will be hard)
18) STAY MOTIVATED! i can and will do this!
now i just need to print this out and post it on my door!